Religious or funny?

A friend who is about to meet some of my family members wants to know, are they religious or do they have a sense of  humor.   I am thinking of religiously funny things to say about that.  Stay tuned.

JESUS WILL COME AND FIX IT>

Lots of  folks on both sides of religious goofiness are sure of what Jesus would do upon His return to someplace in the USA. Why would He choose anyplace else? His top priority will be cleansing what's wrong with the country, turning over tables and driving bad politicians out of office. Right or Left, whichever you believe needs to go.

Prayer Time

I pray a lot. I just said, "Dear God, I am sorry that I'm an old White guy.  Old White guys are bad.  We are responsible for what's wrong with the country.  I know you don't make mistakes so it must be old Lucifer down below who made me what I am. So next time, can I come back as something else?"  And God said, "Leave me alone. I have other prayers to deal with that are even goofier than yours."