Those Modern Lutherans

Garrison Keillor has a wonderful understanding of traditional mid-American church folks and their difficulty dealing with change. He took a delicious poke at those Florida Churches.
Down there, "They use a little skinny Bible. They took out all the discouraging parts. God is your best friend, Jesus is your boyfriend and whatever you need, you got it."
Update:  That was quite a few years ago.  Now Lake Wobegon Lutheran has a Lady Pastor, the subject of some pretty funny stuff.

Christmas myth, tradition

I am equally uncomfortable with fundamentalists who insist that every word of the Bible is literally true and the "reverse fundamentalists" who stay away from church because it's all a man-made fairy tale. Christmas is a time to turn off your intellect and appreciate the beauty of tradition and myth. I believe in Santa Claus and the Easter bunny and Columbus but I'm not sure about Toledo. You won't get that unless you are a Stan Freberg fan.

Passing of the Peace

Being introverted, hung-up and not very sociable, I am not comfortable when the passing of the peace in church turns into a 10 minute session of running around, hugging everybody and saying silly things like "God loves you and so do I." It's all I can do to keep from saying, "I suppose God loves you but I don't even know you." Staying in my pew and shaking hands with those near me is about all I can handle.

Religious People

Ok, so some religious people are dangerous. Most of US are goofy but harmless.

Churches are getting Goofier

I have quit going to church. I am old. Church is for the young. I just stay home and think holy thoughts, mostly.

Still more Truth about Jesus

Bishop Spong says Jesus was a radical feminist.

The TRUTH about Jesus !!

The local Unitarians have proclaimed, in their latest sermon title, that
"Jesus was a Unitarian-Universalist." Now you know.

Reforming the church

Bishop Spong has already answered why he still wants to be a Christian although the church teaches a lot of stuff he doesn't believe. He doesn't want to leave the church, he wants to fix what's wrong with it. Will he go down in history as another Martin Luther? Not likely.

Is Spong Wrong?

Bishop Spong confuses me. He'll say something that feels pretty good to me, reminds me of the Liberal Methodist thinking I was raised on. Then he goes off the deep end with his crusade to get rid of everything traditional because it's archaic theology or not intellectually or historically viable.He wants to throw out the Baby Jesus with the bathwater. Dammit, John ... Why don't you heed the suggestion of your critics and just become a Unitarian?

Mad at church ... religious rancor

Everybody seems mad at some church that done 'em wrong. Over on Facebook I read, "I survived Catholic School and it made me agnostic." One of my special friends is a 91 year old former clergyman who now wants nothing to do with with any church. How did I escape all this religious rancor? The church never did bad stuff to me, didn't teach me that God is an old man in the sky and Iwas going to hell if I didn't get saved or join the right church.I'm not defending. Just puzzled. Heaven knows some churches and their people do awful things. I guess I just got lucky being born a Liberal Methodist.

Church haters?

Ain't no place for me in a church that calls itself church for people that hate church.

When you die.

What happens when you die? I don't know. I don't think anybody else does, either. The funny thing is, it doesn't bother me at all that I don't know. I can't relate to those who can't stand not knowing. Does that make me an agnostic? I hope not.

Global Church not for me

A friend says she likes her new church because the minister is "globally aware." I listened to one of his sermons online. With something close to evangelistic fervor, it was all about saving the environment.

Thank God I didn't enter the ministry

From time to time I'll ruminate and cogitate about why it might have been a terrible mistake if I had listened to clergy who said I should join the club. These thoughts are not in order of importance, but simply as they come to mind.
Number 1: I might have been a pretty good preacher but a lousy pastor, poor at ministering to the congregation's needs. It takes a lot of genuine, unconditional love of people to be a good shepherd to a flock of church goers. I don't have it. That job would put me in the nut ward.

"Thank God for Jesus"

Those words were spoken by the friendly greeter who welcomed me to the local Meijer store. I was not quick enough to come up with a response beyond a simple thank you, but I now have one for the next time I see him. "And thank God for a country where you are free to say that." I hope some professional liberal, demanding equal time for other world religions, does not complain to Meijer management. The company was founded by Hendrik Meijer, a name about as Dutch as you can get. Such complaints might not get far here in very Dutch West Michigan, home of the Reformed and Christian Reformed Churches, Hope College and Calvin College. I would use the same response if the greeter thanked God for Buddha or Allah. Thank God for the freedom to say it. Does that make me a professional liberal?

Religious as Hell

I have not joined the "spiritual but not religious" group. I am as religious as hell and not about to apologize for it. I do not believe organized religion is the root of all evil and the cause of everything bad that has happened in the world.

Prayin' and Preachin'

Prayin' and Preachin'
Too many preachers don't know the difference between prayin' and preachin'. I guess it's normal for a preacher not to be able to to keep from sermonizing when he gets a chance.