Helluva Meeting

One Helluva Meeting

I have figured out what hell is like.  It is one continuous, never ending meeting, lasting for all eternity.  Old Nick sits at the head of the table, surrounded by his satanic staff.  They are shouting at each other, each convinced that he knows best how the place should be run.  The big guy with the horns says nothing, just sits there grinning broadly. He loves those meetings where everybody talks and nothing gets done.

Now I am wondering if the evil one might have snuck into some of those church board meetings that I have attended too many of.

POLKA MASS .. WHY NOT!

Sometimes I wish I had been born a Polish Catholic instead of a stuffy old Anglo Methodist. They know how to have fun and they like tradition. I don't know why St. Mike's here no longer has polka mass.  Maybe whoever replaced Father Hack isn't into that.  Does the cool new Pope know about this? I'll bet he can dance to  Whoopie John Wilfahrt's recording of "In heaven there is no beer and that's why we drink it here."
Did I ever tell you about the time Father Hack told me I have a devious sense of humor?  I probably did.  Too many times

Free Speech

This free speech business is getting ever goofier.  I guess you have a right to say all conservative Christians are dangerous ignorant fools.  And I have the right to call you  a reverse fundamentalist.

Joel's choppers

Let's see, what can I say about Mega-church preacher Joel Osteen?
I know... He has lots of teeth.

RICK WARREN DOES IT AGAIN

Rick's "Daniel Plan" with faith, food, friends, focus and fitness.  That's the latest mega-church goofiness.  If you are offended by  my comment and other similarly snarkey posts here, you should not be reading this blog.

Stefano's Prayers

Preachers have long built sermons around current events that people can relate to.   Jesus did it.  If  He were preaching today He would probably use TV shows to make a point.  I did some of that back in the days when I fancied myself some kind of  lay preacher. I did one about Star Trek and I used good old MacGyver, too.  I can't remember what  the point  was.  Maybe it didn't have one. There is no doubt that ponderings and pontifications about the "Days of Our Lives" soap opera have been sent forth from many a pulpit. I could do a pretty good one about prayer.  Evil Stefano promises God that if He will spare son Chad's life he will quit his dastardly ways. That cries for lots of Bible verses about prayer along with stories about prayers that work, prayers that don't and how we should think about prayer.  I would fix my preacher gaze on some poor fellow in the congregation and ask " Have you prayed Stefanos's prayer?  Did you make promises to God?  Did you keep those sacred vows?"  The poor guy would burst into tears of contrition. If it's a Protestant Church he would bolt for the door in search of the nearest  Catholic Edifice so he could confess to somebody.
I would end with a heart touching  poem about prayer. Oh what a prize winning sermon it would be. There could be a whole series of "Days" sermons. How about "The Sad sinful saga of Salem St. Luke's."  Every episode  is full of dreadful transgressions to be preached about.  Too bad that I am no longer interested in doing that. If any preacher type wants to pass these grand ideas off as your own, be my guest.  No credit needed.  I don't really want anybody to know where it came from. I'm in trouble if God doesn't have a sense of humor.

Where is big bad Father John these days

I can't find a current update on Father Corapi.  Is he back in the priest business, still riding his bike or what.  Looks like Comcast doesn't carry EWTN anymore so I'm out of touch with Catholic Stuff.  How fascinating that the Catholics are as divided between liberals and conservatives as they have always accused Protestant of being. Progressives love the cool new pope while the traditionalists don't quite know what to do.
Update:  Looks like Comcast does carry EWTN. I love those old Mother Angelica shows.